


Whatever You Are

by writelikeitsgoingoutofstyle (twoandahalfslytherins)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: I failed at the fluff, I started out and it could have, M/M, Non-Stop Verse, but it didn't, gender identity weirdness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 01:42:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7020403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoandahalfslytherins/pseuds/writelikeitsgoingoutofstyle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron suggests that Alex paints his nail for him.</p><p>What he doesn't expect is to cause Alex to have an identity crisis</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whatever You Are

**Author's Note:**

  * For [teacups (I am so sorry I tried. I tried so hard.)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=teacups+%28I+am+so+sorry+I+tried.+I+tried+so+hard.%29).



Hands say a lot about a person.

John’s, for instance, are calloused. Growing more calloused ever since he took up a position working under a local carpenter, but even before that, he’d played hard enough to warrant them. Alex knows he’s not supposed to, but he likes them. Likes how rough John’s hands are when he runs them over his body. He’s never received a manicure in his life, clips his nails occasionally but doesn’t take too much care with it. It’s all about function.

Lafayette, for as much physical activity as he does, has silky smooth skin. Uses lotion religiously, files down his nails every few days. Has been known to go for a manicure every now and then. His fingers are thin and long, and Alex enjoys the way they can span his entire chest.

Madison’s hands are a mix of the two. His job isn’t quite as physical as John’s, but he does work with his hands often enough. Uses lotion when he thinks about it, which isn’t often. Bites his nails when he’s stressed. It’s a habit he keeps saying he should break, but Alex doubts it happens anytime soon.

And Aaron?

Aaron’s hands are soft by nature and he keeps his nails just as neat as Lafayette, though he does so with much less fanfare. Alex holds the right one up to his face, checking to make sure that his paint job hasn’t bubbled.

Smiles, pleased, when it hasn’t. Sets the hand down on the table and beams up at his boyfriend. “All done. Usually, I’d put a topcoat on, like, a clear coat? But I figured you wouldn’t want to keep the paint on that long.”

A moment of silence, and then Aaron shrugs slightly. “Why don’t you go get the clear stuff? I don’t mind.”

There’s a piece of him, the one that always seeks to make sure Aaron is happy, that wants to double check that Aaron is sure. But instead, he gets up and disappears to the bathroom, comes back with the clear polish.

Takes Aaron’s left hand, the one he finished first, and double checks that the coat there is dry before opening up the bottom. Chews on his bottom lip as he slowly brushes each nail, listening to the faint sound of aesop rock’s latest album coming from Mads’ room.

Typically he isn’t this careful when doing his own nails, doesn’t mind nibbled edges or bits of bubbles. Doesn’t bother most of the time to remove the old paint before putting down a new color. But this is Aaron, and Aaron deserves nails that look as nice as he does.

Alex moves on to the right hand after he watches to make sure that Aaron keeps the one he just finished with still on the chair. Treats it with the same respect.

When he’s through, Aaron leans forward to kiss him on the forehead, purposely keeping each hand planted on the arms of the chair. “Thank you, Pet. You did such a good job.”

It’s a struggle to not let the praise go to his head. “Thanks for letting me do it.”

The suggestion had been Aaron’s, but there’s no way that it was for Aaron. No, this entire exercise had been for Alex and he loves it. Has loved being able to pick out the paint, a beautiful burgundy that brings out the warm tones in Burr’s cheeks. Being able to hold and pay such close attention to those wonderful hands that bring him such joy.

Loves his sensitive boyfriend. “Can I get you a drink?”

Aaron considers it for a moment and then nods. “Water will work.”

Alex is halfway to the kitchen when he turns around. “Remember to keep your hands down!”

It’s the bossiest he gets to be, and while Aaron probably didn’t count on it, he delights in this detail too. Takes his time grabbing a glass and filling it with ice. Adds in water, and on a whim, snags a straw as well.

Brings it back to Aaron who raises an eyebrow, but obediently continues to rest his hands, taking the straw in mouth instead of reaching for the glass. Drinks before pulling back so that Alex can place the cup on the coffee table.

When Alex finally tells him that his nails are dry and it’s safe to move, he snags Alex’s shirt, dragging him into his lap. Laughing, Alex goes willingly, twisting so that his back is to Aaron’s chest. Enjoys the fact that being on his lap means that Alex is the taller one for once, leaning back and nuzzling his ear.

“Is that the first time anyone has painted your nails?”

Aaron hums. “No. I had a girlfriend in high school who did it a few times.”

Oh. Sometimes Alex forgets that Aaron has dated before him. And it’s ridiculous to feel insecure considering the fact that Alex himself has four boyfriends, one of which that he was fucking before he and Aaron met.

Alex relaxes as an arm wraps around his waist, holding him tight. “Do you miss it? Having a girlfriend?”

This time, Aaron doesn’t answer so quickly and Alex is just about to tell him that he’s free to date other people if he wants when Aaron finally speaks. “I thought I already did.”

What? Alex searches his memory. Knows that Aaron and Madison finally gave in to dating, but can’t think of Aaron mentioning anyone else. Much less seeing someone else enough to be dating them. Except maybe Angelica’s sister. “I thought Eliza was a lesbian?”

“Eliza is.”

Oh.

Alex is still trying to figure out who Aaron could be dating when Aaron squeezes his waist again. “I’m talking about you, sweetheart.”

Panic bubbles in his throat. Sure, Alex likes to wear dresses. Preens when Lafayette calls him a pretty girl. Cried when he made the mistake of cutting his hair short and sure, sometimes Alex, privately, in his head, calls his dick a clit. But he’s not…

“Alex?” Aaron’s voice is quiet. “It’s okay if not. But if you are? That’s okay too. I love you either way.”

“I don’t know what I am.” That’s all he can say.

Likes femininity, likes being called a girl. Likes being called a good boy too. Just, at different times. Doesn’t really know what to make of that. Alex goes to pull away, but Aaron holds him steady. Won’t let him go, and usually, that would make Alex mad but he can’t help but sink back into it.

Aaron presses a kiss to his shoulder. “Shhh, it’s alright. You don’t have to know. You’re allowed to try and figure yourself out. Now come on, let me return the favor and do your nails. We could even match if you like?”

Alex stares at his hands for a moment. At the bits of skin that he’s torn away, at his uneven nails and the green paint on them. Wonders what they say about him. Finally nods. Yes. He’d like that a lot.


End file.
